I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of assholes coming onto her
Each night seems like it's getting worse
And I wish she'd take the night off
So I don't have to fight off
Every asshole coming onto her
It happens every night she works

They'll go and ask the DJ
To find out just what would she say
If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work?
They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant

And I even feel the ladies
They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming onto her
Don't they know it's never going to work
And each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her ass
Everyone keeps coming onto her
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
There goes the next contestant

I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
I can't wait til they get what they deserve
This time somebody's gettin' hurt

Here comes the next contestant
Is that your hand on my girlfriend?
Is that your hand?
I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you'd do it again (I'll watch you leave here limping)
And I wish you'd do it again (each night seems like it's getting worse)
And I wish you'd do it again (this time somebody's gettin' hurt)
There goes the next contestant