High my name's Ludacris and im high as girrafes (yeah) 
And im close to the edge so your parents can come push me 
I curse somuch just to get on they nerves 
I got kids actin a fool from the traps to the birbs 
My filthy mouf it wont fight cavities or beat plaque 
So i shot the tooth fairy (aahhh) and took my old teeth back 
I'll take a shit on the equator, the size of a crater 
And make Government officials breath harder than Dark Vader 
Its the chicken & the beer that make Luda keep rappin 
But no pork on my fork i dont even speak pig Latin 
I go fishen on my lake wit some bitches to bake 
Plus i eat many MC's but i dont gain no weight 
The number 1 cheif rocker clean out your rap lockers 
Im as stiff as a board your more shook than maracas 
But my tricks aint for kids if you dig em' you'll get smaked 
I'll clap yah, i'll spring forward you far back (whoo) 
Every album that i drop has got more than ten bangers (yeah) 
Thats cause im a shot caller ya'll fools are crank yankers (bells) 
Aint a damn thing changed but the ice on my chain 
I get chicks from Portland Oregan to Portland Mayne 
Now i role up torpedoes, get blunted wit rastas 
For a hefty fee im on your record like Bob Castas (yeah) 
I own somany jerseys, im a throw-back mess 
I hit the cleaners an tell em' "i want a full court press" (owe) 
So mama toast yah glass while im countin my cash 
Cause every single is a smash, im hot as a camals ass (ha) 
The competition never just wanna admit that they lost 
And that they last about as long as my part in The Wash 
From your car to crack no one roles witchu 
One of MiniMe's shoes got more soul than you (ok) 
So by the time you figur out why your record aint spinnin 
Im in the strip club smokin, wit Presedent Clinton (cough cough cough) 
So stay of the long side-burns and gold teeth (teeth) 
They make the mold of the penis and larger off me (me) 
I'll be in another when i hit from the back (back) 
Not to mention my refridgerators taller than Shaq (yeah) 
So yippie ka ye yippie ya ya yo (yo), if you cant swim dont smoke my hydro (dro) 
I've been lookin for a woman just to put my stamp on 
But alotta ya'll are more stuck up than tampons (whoo) 
So wash all you sins away and stop playin (yeah) 
If God's line is busy you might have to two way him (uh hmm) 
And catch me in your back yard playin crokay 
And im drunk im tellin kids "drugs are bad umm-kay" 
Or watch me swing my chains at the Rascals of Peko 
Got seven cars get on my rims at chrome depo 
And people think im bad they say "ooh he's so evil" 
Cause i go on blind dates with actual blind people (owe) 
But my albums out the store, yours be on the shelf (uh hmm) 
I heard you masterbate alot so ya'll keep to yourself 
Cause these women want a man to stay up and stay strong 
Like the NBA, you gotta play hard or go home 
All that shit that ya'll talkin ya'll can pop it to them 
Cause Ludacris will beat you down with a prosthetic limb 
I'll put so deep in your ass that you can smell it 
And your breath'll turn to Footlocker water repelant 
Im the man i got money far as the eyes can see 
And im in a group i split do wit me me and me 
Somuch money in my jury that im damn near sorry 
So ima trade my earings in, and get a Ferrari (whoo) 
I buy cars wit straight cash, have meetins wit Donald Trump 
Yall meet wit Honda, no payments for 12 months (uh huh) 
Take a look at your life and no wonder your so sad 
Ya'll put up wit more shit than a colostomy bag 
ha ha ha