Hey mister, where you headed? 
Are you in a hurry? 
I need a lift to happy hour. 
Say oh no. 
Do you brake for distilled spirits? 
I need a break as well. 
The well that inebriates the guilt. 
1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4. 

Cold turkey's getting stale, tonight I'm eating crow. 
Fermented salmonella poison oak no 

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and now I'm dehydrating. 
My tongue is swelling up, as say 1, 2. 1, 2, 3, 4. 
Troubled times, you know i can not lie. 
I'm off the wagon and I'm hitchin' a ride. 

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and now I'm dehydrating. 
My tongue is swelling up, I say Shit!